~Mood: Irritated / OK :/
~Hears: Wหวาย - Cuz Of U



>8U tf I posted to the wrong blog. Fixed now...

i hate people. i just wrote 8 paragraphs full of anger and erased them. I hate it when people are all "really?" when i use the word "like" followed by an exaggeration, but they totally disregard that "like" means "not really but feels like". It makes me mad. But not as mad as I am at the stupid AC that wants to go all mofo on us right in the middle of summer. Stupid fan. My dog eats flies. He was eating a june bug earlier.

Anyway. Yay three day weekend. I'm going to re-type up the first bit of MXxX 'cause I really don't like what I've got down so far. I've got the entire plot written down in notepad, and I'd written it after I'd typed up the first bits of the story. So I think it'll be better if I just go ahead and start all over. I'll save them in different files though if I change my mind ahahaha; I need to clean my room. I dunno what my problem is, I've hardly had any energy lately. It sucks :/
Maybe it's because...Nah. I don't know.

What's creepy is I'm so used to NOT using bookmarks. I have absolutely nothing in my bookmarks right now. It's straaaange. I guess I just take advantage of my history, but still. Obama.

Someone tell me why i have soulja boy on my computer :|


~Fogo

THATS IT.





Name: FOGO
Age: SEVENTEEN
Location: THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Sex: FEMALE
Hair: RED
Eye: BLUE
Skin: WHITE

Movie: SWEENEY TODD, PANS LABYRINTH, ALICE IN WONDERLAND, LORD OF THE RINGS, HARRY POTTER
Music: LACUNA COIL, ELUVEITIE, NIGHTWISH, EPICA, MELL, AYUMI HAMASAKI, GACKT
Game: FINAL FANTASY, THE LEGEND OF ZELDA, ICO, TOMB RAIDER, KINGDOM HEARTS
Show: HELL GIRL, HETALIA, DEATH NOTE, WHEN THEY CRY, AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER, DRAGONBALL Z
Book: TITHE, KING OF ATTOLIA, WILDWOOD DANCING, HARRY POTTER, SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, LORD OF THE RINGS
Talent: MY FACE. ART. SINGING. FOREIGN LANGUAGE.
Hobby: HTML, PHOTOGRAPHY, FASHION DESIGN, COSMETICS, DRAWING, WRITING, FOREIGN LANGUAGE, PLAYING DRESS UP, STALKING, FOLKLORE, HOARDING TEAS AND COFFEES, PHOTOMANIPULATION, FANGIRLING, DECORATING RANDOM THINGS WITH STICKERS

THERE D8<

~Mood: sleepy / content
~Hears: Lacuna Coil / Eluveitie

annyeonghaseyo~

another blog update. I'm on a rolllllll.

which isn't a good thing :/

but I went to see Shrek yesterday after picking up some food from the Greek food festival. :D! The food was good, the movie was also good, but not as funny as the first two (third was just decreasingly witty, IMHO). It was very very sweet though~ it was all together a really good movie, just not as funny as the others. I think it's worth the money to go see~ so maybe you will : D

Oh oh oh and I saw a new preview for The Last Airbender movie. ;ldskajf;ldskajf;lksdajf;ldksaj IT LOOKS SO COOL *A* I WANT TO SEE IT SOOOO BAD!! Now I have to plan on who I'm going to drag to the theater with me to see it. Hoho~

Ummm~ I hafta go download photoshop 7 so I can get my photoshop CS2 to work. Darn it :c Apparently CS2 hates photoshop elements, even IF it's a 'version of of photoshop 5.5 or higher'. ONE LITTLE WORD SHOULDN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE, ADOBE!
I suppose it's worth the wait, though. We all need our artistic release~ But &* it's like my internet HATES this computer. I swear it runs like 2x slower on poor desky D; *petpetscomp*
IDK i was all 'yeah i'm a lot better at digital art lawl but my comp crashed' now the stress is on for some high quality arts OTL
w-w-wish me luck.
I'm starting to believe I'm better at traditional art now. Well, I mean I always was, I just always wasn't as smart with COPIC markers and colored pencils as I was with Photoshop. 'Cause photoshop has an undo button, and it has layers, and copics and pencils don't. Hateful little things. This is why I tread almost too carefully among my piccus. They bite like piranhaaaaas.

whatever that was about >8"I

oh well at least I'll look prettier now 
e3e;

so...screencaps, shall we?



Left is firefox, obviously, right is my desktoppu~ ahhh~ back to the basics. :D

Tonight was Celebrity Apprentice's finale. Bret won! Yay! I was hoping he would x3
*happy squee*

I shall now try to update Liediut Faerinh~

Loff~
~Fogo

e3e; so while I'm updating windows media player and installing windows live messenger, I thought I'd share a poem from my poetry folder I got off my comp before everything got erased ;a; ah~ it was written in July of last year.

Bleed

I am in a room
Without any doors
Your thoughts were frivilous--
Giving me the key to nothing
Somehow
It's left me speechless

I've said nothing at all
When there were tantrums raging inside
I've danced willingly, though
This graying harmony is tedious
In a way, without passion
You're taunting the invisible
And maybe the impossible
With petty excuses belonging to children

I am a doll without a mouth
And in time, I'm sure I'll rot inside-out
How can they be so bitterly unforgiving
When they ignore every one of your faults?
The palms of your hands have left bruises
Without any lie, I thought that in a way
It was plain
To anyone with eyes

Along the lines, I tore out every memory
Painting masterpieces over what I tried to hide
Inside my heart, slowly dying
Was the will to exist within this eternity
Simply to ease the damage you've caused
Although until the sun bleeds red
I don't believe in any acknowledgment
Of what you've done to me


----







hurrr~ so I shall be able to chat with y'all in a bit ;> A> it's only at 53%....


Yes the title is in Russian. Guess what song it is CB



Loff~
~Fogo

Hi all! I has really good news!!

I got my computer fully working! I'm using it right now CB I am so so so happy~! I'm seriously going to marry Koast from DA for helping me with all this. I couldn't've done it without him~ squeeee!!

I used the Windows XP CD Kita let me borrow (THANKYOUKITA), and it's a Service Pack 1, where as last time I used my computer I think it said it was a Service Pack 3. Er...So I guess it'll have to do some updating xD; But still! I am so happy! flkdja;lkfjda;slkjfda

It's acting a bit funny though. Like at first its screen resolution was set at 800x600 and I had to set it to 1024x768 (shenme~ shenme~ why is it so bigg? oAo;). And when I go to drag around windows or scroll up and down it's kind of choppy :/ That might be just 'cause it's getting used to it or whatever. I dunno. But I'M SO HAPPY. It was sad, 'cause I had to delete the partitions...which were all nearly full (of my stuff lol;;;;) but it's all good 'cause I backed up most of the stuff I wanted. Someone said something about these system files or something.....ahhh e3e; at least it's not KO anymore.
 but ja~


That is all CB 

Alsoalso mom was saying she wanted to go camping this year, like during the fall. And she said I could take a friend.......:D
So WHO WANTS TO GO CAMPING? yeah ikr [ SILENCE ]
I'm not a big fan of camping either, in fact I think I get sick every time we go. She was also talking about renting a cabin in northern arkansas, too, so maybe we'll do that. She said i could still invite a friend. LOL
Only Sam'll have her brat baby, so it won't be all peace and quiet. Unless it's a good baby like I was.
< / end golden child speech >
okay okay I'll stop being mean. She asked me the other day if I thought she was making the right choice. I told her their were probably other people who were more financially stable and are married, but in this system you'll never know :/
*sigh*

anyhoodle. I shall go make my computer pretty again~

Loff~
~Fogo

~Mood: Semi-happy. Sleepy.
~Hears: Lacuna Coil - Oblivion

Hello allllll~

Okay, so, news! I finally got my computer running via Ubuntu~ that means I can get everything off of my computer : DD!! All my arts, poems, videos, piccus, musics, etc. etc. The only thing is my internet will absolutely not connect through Ubuntu. I have the A600 Cricket usb wireless, and apparently it's a common problem for people using Ubuntu and Cricket, and there are ways to fix it, but it involves typing out commands and terminals and whatnot and I am so unfamiliar with all that stuff. I'm great with computers until it comes to getting all inside them and programming them and stuff. Arghh...

But yeah, also I run it from the CD every bootup, otherwise I get the blue screen of death, but installing it usually isn't the best thing to do (aka requires like extra ram or whatever D8 I can't remember...) so it's rather tedious. As long as I can get my stuff I'm happy. So much KitaBoko footage xD it's hilarious. So if I can get those files and then open up the .wmm (or whatev) file on here, then I can finish making the Funniest Moments video.

Also, I have the whole Kiss Of Eternity file, so I can post what I have so far of it on my LJ. Beware though, it has a rough start but it gets better. I know, text block of doom. I was going to edit it and add in spaces but I got lazy. Plus it was like 3AM anyway.

Speaking of time. Ubuntu was 699 MB. I started downloading it at 2:30AM and it finally finished at 9:30AM. Yeah. I took a nap. Anyways, THANKS TO KOAST ON DEVIANTART! THANK GOD FOR HAVING NERDS FOR FRIENDS. I'll do a google search or something later to see if there's a way to revive my actual computer from Ubuntu, now that I can reeeeach it.

Oh how I love actual keyboards. I'm so sick of laptop keyboards I'm about to pick all its keys off and throw them out the window. I'm like "Hey look! I can actually type fast now!!"

Also, I put Photoshop CS2 on a disk so I could use it on another computer. Hopefully it'll work. I dunno. It might do the whole 'this is an upgrade blah blah you need photoshop 5.5 or higher for this to work' nonsense. Even then I'm prepared. I can get my photoshop 7.0 off the comp as well. And Painter.

But I was told my computer might be doing this because it ran out of memory, but Koast told me that if it WAS my memory, ubuntu would take longer to boot up than normal. Ubuntu booted up pretty fast. So I'm just not sure. I'll try as much as I can to fix it on my own, and if I can't I'll just either buy a new one or get another nerdy friend to fix it for me. Although...right now it seems entirely fixable.

o Ao;

thank god for mp3 players, too.

SO! I'm happy about that.

Two arts I was in the middle of before my computer went kaput:

fdadl;kj yeah. I think I've showed you guys these before maybe while I was still working on them but yes.

Speaking of artwork, I dunno if I mentioned this in the previous post, but I started a personal to-draw list. It looks something like this as of right now:

• If mental wounds were physical √
• Emotional instability  √
• Spiritual confusion

just so I can get out of this artificial artwork :/ so far so good.

You might get to see them soon, in fact~

And this Japanese hiragana app I have on my ipod is awesome 8DD its like idek but it's awesome O3O Hopefully this'll help improve my Japanese.
(has Japanese, Chinese, Korean, French and German podcasts on there as well)
ANYEONGHASEYO! Ni hao, konbanwa, bonjour, and guten taggg~
my mom told me i'm going to hit my head one day and speak only a mix of all these languages. :/ thanks mom. Oh, and ciao.

Hey I actually did my bible reading for once, too! It was actually like 3AM and I was supposed to baby sit the next morning and I read it anyway 'cause I guess if I have nothing else to do I might as well try to be spiritual //LIGHTNINGSTRUCK

But I might post up a little mini-mp3 rotation later, too. So...keep reminding me and I just actually might 8'3


But for now I must ninjapoof~

~Loff
Fogo~

~Hears: We Are The Fallen - Burn
~Mood: Neutrallll~?

Hello blog. Today I have a headache that won't go away and I have a feeling it's from lack of caffeine. Like, seriously, I think the only caffeine I've had was yesterday morning when I got a frappe. Ever since then all I've had is an icee and water x__o;
Maybe this is why I'm suddenly craving coffee (but then again, aren't I always?)

Well I at least earned $25~! xD yeah I know. She's super easy to babysit though so any more than that would've been unfair. I pretty much got to chill all day.
(And I didn't bring my schoolbooks ^A^)

But I think we're finally going to go shopping today @____@; we've had no food in this house for like idek 3 weeks. Kinda hungry. OTL

Aaaaaand...what else. Oh yesterday after Kita got home I finally got to play FFXIII~ She didn't want me to go in her room 'cause it was messy xD (but I did anyway. She brought out her computer and she had lots of music I wanted......shutupiamagoodfriend) But I was kind of disappointed with it, because first of all the intro is confusing and explains very little, and the scenery is nothing special at all (Compared to FFX, but I mean, that's a hard game to rival xD). Lightning's personality is dryyyy. She kind of reminds me of Paine from FFX-2, but then kinda of Kristen Stewert, and then kinda of Ashe from FFXII -- and we all know how much of a douche Ashe was. Idk and her clothes and her hair were just kind of lame to me. They looked like everyone else's and weren't something you'd especially want one of the main characters to wear. I mean, you want main characters to stick out and stuff, but miss Lightning here could only be described as a flat line.

I REALLY REALLY like Yuj, though. HIS HAIR! gsbglkjsa *3*

The chick with pigtails gets on my nerves. She's really airheadish and annoying and auughhhh. I feel so bad for Hope having to deal with her D8

 I dunno, Final Fantasy hasn't been the same since Nobuo Uematsu stopped composing its music. And me and Kita agreed the music in the intro reminds us of Sailormoon. If you close your eyes you can nearly see the sailor scouts Anyway overall from how far I got, It's not quite as good as previous FF games, and the only thing I thought was impressive was the graphics, which I think they spent a liiiiitle too much time on rather than the storyline itself and in result, is a major flaw. And does anyone else feel like you're making NO progress? Holy crap. Okay idk where we are or who you are but hey look monsters! HI-YAH!
I completely skipped the tutorial it wanted to give on how the fight system works, and I really didn't need it because it was a breeze. It's just like all the other games pretty much. Except you can actually see the enemies like in FFXII, but you cannot move around while battling. Some tweaking job, really. :/
oh but the voice acting was impressive. Forgot about that. Major upgrade in the English voice actors because they usually suck really bad, but these ones did amazing. : D

I mean, I'm like any other Final Fantasy fan, okay? It's final fantasy, c'mon, who doesn't have high expectations for it? Even if it's not as good as the others I'll like it anyway (like when I buy a CD I don't really care for. I learn to like it xD).
So
Y'know.

Umm~ I got invited to go to Texas with them~! :DD!! They said they were gonna go down there for a wedding but it almost looks like her sister ISN'T gonna get married, but they were going to go anyway, and maybe go to six flags. I feel like a lame friend though 'cause we never go on any vaca's or anything, except when there's an anime con, mom'll take me if she's able to. I think the last thing we did as a sort of vaca is go camping like 2-3 years ago xDD;
Times is harddddd.

And how come Japanese food always looks so unappetizing.


x3 that is all!


~Boko

~Mood: e3e;
~Hears: Lacuna Coil - The Last Goodbye


So I watched Avatar for the first time. I really didn't want to, since I'd made the promise never to see the horrible thing, but mom made me since it was all "look i got a movie now lets all watch it together like a good family" atmosphere.

I hated it.

It was so LAME.

Okay, generally what it's about is a geek who sleeps way too much and starts having fantasies about gumby people in 3D that speak the same language that was in The Fifth Element, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, most episodes of Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Pan's Labyrinth, You Got Mail, iCarly, and in the opening theme to Ghost In The Shell: SAC (because we all know Origa doesn't sing in Russian and Japanese, but in Sci-fi film speak). And going by his forehead wrinkles, I'd say he's about in his late twenties, so it's safe to say that the 3D gumby people wore loin clothes and a bunch of obscure neck jewelry, which actually hid nothing, but supposedly it's the thought that counts. And it really doesn't require any at all.  Geek dreams about being a 3D mutant himself and being important for once but can't decide which one he likes more so he ends up screwing tons of people over just from being a douchebag and all "urrr idk i liek her she be pretty AHH DINOSURZ!" 'cause his boss was a biznatch and he really wanted to be a marine D;!!  But in the end after nearly everyone of his own kind have died, he turns into a REAL blue 3d mutant gumby ninja! BIG SURPRISE THERE. Just like how he fell in love with the chick. Yeah, totally didn't see that coming. Oh and there was that thing about dinosaurs. And the robots. But those really can't compete with the freaky Yuna-braid thing they all have that can connect them to everything >8U So they sort of threw in a modern-ancient-modern-sorta ancient version of a USB system in there. In fact now that I think about that, it reminds me a lot of Cell in his first form where he absorbed people by his tail.
Nice one, guys.

What made my night was an entire chatroom full of people agreeing with me that Avatar sucks :D.
And then everyone agreeing when someone asked if they could at least say it was better than Twilight.

However, tomorrow will be a busy day, and it supposed to storm (we'll see, weather channel, we'll see). So I must get some sleep, now that it is 5AM.

Also, American Idol, yay top 3! This is like the best part of the season~ Go France! I kinda want him to win just 'cause it's funny he looks like France, but then I really want Crystal to win because she's a really good singer. Mr. Hobo-I-Always-Look-Stoned can just go hide in a box or something idk D< i want him gone! he can't sing and he's not even cute!
but
i must say
my hair sure is fabulous tonight 8D

//slapped


~Kussu

OTL

Sorry for the title. As you probably have guessed, I finally got Flyleaf's new-ish album, Memento Mori. I'm still wondering why it wasn't as popular as her other album, which I'll admit to listening to repeatedly ( I was like, what, 13? ... wait...15? ) so I mean... Justwondering, y'know.

Oh, also got some of the songs from Lacuna Coil's Shallow Life Deluxe album. I like 'em, but it's like they're not even trying on these acoustic songs ;>3> forreal you guys, honestly? Their songs are so pretty acoustic but then it's like they went and had a few beers or 9 and then decided to record some songs.
pft. pft.

So if you can think of any more albums I absolutely have to hear, tell me and I shall give it a listen, da?

Also, my dad called me today and said he was going to get me a computer ;>> AFTER he asked me whether I wanted an Ipod or a computer, because I think he gave it to mom since I didn't go with her to pick it up so he assumed she'd kept it or something. I know this sounds bad, but I hope it's not like the one Kita has. I really don't like her laptop x___o; 
well just 'cause...I dunno. I do 50% of my artwork on the computer (or when I had one >8U) and one like that really isn't for that kind of stuff. I'm not sure if I even like Windows 7. It looks like it's the same thing as Vista, as in trying to make everything simpler and shinier for idiots ...eh, 'users of basic computer knowledge', rather than improving how the entire thing runs altogether, which seems like they'd done to XP (oh how I miss you, XP).

I dunno, maybe I'm just geeking out on you all. Idk or maybe I'm just so used to how xp works, and I'm used to tweaking it to my satisfaction. (black toolbar with a cursive~y font! yay! Vista desktop icons! yay!) Unfortunately that may be why it's...giving me...the...blue screen of death....
OTL....
Either way we all know where this is heading, though.

ANYWAY. I'll cross my fingers. Mom and Sam said since I went to Edgefest they're going to take me somewhere and drown me in baptismal water xD;
totally looking forward to it.

And it's sad I only have 2 things marked off the 100 themes challenge. Very wrong sounding ones, too.
√ 5. Heart
√ 8. Panties

I should probably just run a poll or something. Not like anyone would vote or anything 'cause i'm a loser like that but maybe it'd get more active drawing OTL
I'm such a slopo.

Oh...well...
Last tuesday I was at home doing my homework in the living room while Sam was out, and it was about 2pm and someone knocks on the door~ So I kinda sneak over to the front door and look out the peep hole to see who it is. It's my other sister, Madeline. WTH? They didn't even call to say they were coming over, and as if I'm letting them in after that. So I wait until she figures no one is home and goes back to tell her boyfriend that. Instead of leaving they go around the back of my house, over the gate, and get into the storage and get the lawn mower out and everything. My sister goes around to the far side of the backyard and tries to see if the back door is unlocked. Which it isn't. So after that, they both just leave. I text Sam to tell her, but she doesn't respond.  A few minutes later she comes in with my other sister behind her, who's all like "Oh, you were here this entire time?" all kind of jokingly. Her boyfriend doesn't come in but starts mowing the yard. madeline gets a cup and asks if she can have a soda, gets it, then takes it out to her boyfriend. Sam tells me that halfway down our street, she looks in her rear view mirror and sees their car behind her.
;dlksjfa;lkdjas;lfjdsa
So she comes back in and sits down and everything and completely plays it all off like 'we just wanted to mow the yard for you guys since it's supposed to rain all week' (which it didn't). And then proceeds to be super rude the entire time, including when Sam brings up getting her truck fixed and how much it's going to cost, and madeline just says "well korey's dad works at this place and if you take it there you can get like 20% off" or whatever. WTF. Okay, she is the one who wrecked Sam's car, she can be the freaking one who gets it &*ing fixed. Anyway. She has like, 3 cans of sodas, and then practically clears out all the beer in our fridge for her boyfriend without asking. And she starts to drink one even though she's 5 months pregnant. Sam tells her that it really bothers her that she's drinking while pregnant, and madeline's all "Oh 4 beers won't hurt anything. It's a lot better than the 6 I've been having". They discuss that and madeline gets mad so she goes out and tells her boyfriend and whatever, who eventually tried to tell sam that it's perfectly okay for someone to drink beer while they're pregnant. Afterwards she goes and says she's going to give it up for adoption anyway 'cause they can't afford to have another baby.

Besides all this, she kept doing that whole 'insulting but playing it off as a joke' thing. Like I was working on a midterm essay the entire time and she says "so tell me about this school thing you're doing" so I tell her, and then she goes "Ohhh. I thought you were over here just doing nothing." I give her a look, in which she mutters a "just kidding". 
But once he's done mowing and everything, they're trying to stay and stuff because her boyfriend just really wants to talk to mom for some reason. It's like 6 PM, and mom is never home by 6PM on tuesdays because she works till like 5:30 and then has to go to the meeting that starts at 7. Except Sam has the car.  They most likely wanted to talk to mom because they knew mom would want to pay him for mowing the yard. So we were whispering back to each other and I said that we should just go and say mom needs to be picked up from work and make them leave. Which we eventually do, after they suggested staying at our house while we went to go get her, or meeting us somewhere to eat, OR going to get her for us. (good god). Finally, after we say she's usually too tired for anything on tuesdays, they give up. Only they don't leave before us. Which was a risk. Her boyfriend looked angry and didn't say a word to me, and madeline looked all nervous.
But yes. They are not welcome over here anymore. And we're not answering the doors, either. AND I WILL SHOOT AND SET MY DOGS ON THEM. They're biters, too. 

But like, WHO CARES WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE WERE THE WORKING-CLASS 18TH CENTURY FRENCH REVOLUTIONARIES okay, exam book? Stop asking impossible questions because a lot of people are going to get weirded out by this.
And that whole thing about the Sahara trade.

I'm out, yo. i need more coffee


~Fogo

I'm on my second cup of coffee today. Run! And I'm watching the Cleveland Show. It sure is interesting xD; 
alsoalso I need to give someone copies of pictures and whatnot. I need a new camera because mine is about 3 years old and it's just...ebil. Its shutter speed is like 10 minutes =____=;  and its battery life isn't so great. So...OTL
OH but anyway you can hear the singers better than you could in RL xD Lacuna coil did so amazing! I keep watching the videos over, even if they aren't perfect quality. I hate how cameras always make sound so choppy. I had a blast at Edgefest CB I can't wait till next year~ oo and kawa kon *3*
anyhoodle, FANGIRL!
Waiting for celebrity apprentice to come on. *hoppu*

.....

*hoppu hoppu*

~Boko

Well~ I now have an Ipod touch
:D
But I feel really, really guilty.

Because mom wanted an mp3 player like the one I used to have, but she got this other one instead, which she says she really really likes, but still. The one I used to have I gave to my sister cause she wanted it and didn't like her ipod shuffle, but it's pretty old and kinda banged up and then i have this new shiny thing...and I have too much anxiety to call my dad but i feel bad for not calling him because i don't want to seem unthankful even though he'll think i'm a greedy brat anyway. I just...argh!!!
And I'm scared about going to edgefest ;-; i'll be surrounded by a bunch of metal heads and everything and...and...//slapself
WELL I AM. ;A; *flail*

I just feel like such a spoiled, self-centered brat. I know I'm not, but I just feel so bad. I dunno, I feel like there's not enough time for everything. I'm having so much anxiety over everything it's turning me into a mess. It got better for a while 'cause I just ignored it, but now it's coming back and my sister will be due in like 4 weeks and I don't want anything to change. I hate change. I want time to just STOP. Or paradise to come. or to die. I don't know. I don't want to lose anyone and I don't want to be an adult and I don't want to have a baby in this household and I don't want to have to worry about my education and being inactive in the ministry and worry about whether or not i'm going to die. And I don't want to worry about my stupid stupid STUPID other sister and her stupid boyfriend or my stupid dad or how I look or if we're going to have to move because we can't pay the bills or my mom working constantly and never getting to spend time with her or being a talentless loser or how messed up i am. I'm tired of everything. and why does dealing with people have to hurt so much.
yeah i know, boo-hoo. I'm such a weakling I can't even take a little stress. whatever. i have friends who cry about boys not liking them. i think boys are completely meaningless compared to a life or death matter.

whatever. well i AM sick of the japanese culture. it was cool then everyone started copying it and all the americanized anime came out and ugh. Just IMHO y'know. Not to be racist ;D
and no i can't remember what number i'm on in my poetry OTL last time I wrote a poem down it was like in february i think. yeah i write so much right. i ttly need a break i'm so overworked.



.014(?)


I want to lock you in a music box
So that you can hear my thoughts
And for every time the chaos is unhinged
I want you to be reckless

If I bury these thoughts
I hope it's enough to save myself
As all these words echo inside my mind
I feel like I am already fading
Although reality is persistent
My existence is marked as an X

You've never done what I've told you
And what use is there to hopelessly wander
Carrying this heart-shaped box
With the sky blinding me

So just to numb the despair
Let's act like children and forget
That we were ever warned
About our destruction, because
This way, we can be blissfully unaware
Of everything surrounding us.

~mood meh. sleepy?
~music lady gaga - kaboom


Okay...I'm expecting this post to be short.

Right now I'm working on a new icon for LF, but I'm not sure if it's turning out good or bad yet. I was going to rotate it so it's at an angle but...orz we'll see how it comes out. Oh, and it's a man. Hurrrr.
this is crazy I used to never ever draw guys. Now they're all I draw. This is strange. why do I do this D;

Okay, so today I planned for cosplaying as Belarus for Kawa Kon 2011. I have lots of preparations to do, so wish me luckkkk. So...no soda starting today, anyone? (and a whole buncha other stuffs)
But it's gonna be a lot of fun~ and maybe before then I can also get my own Boko costume done. hurrr 8D

ummm~ hmm...

Oh~ I was talking with a friend the other day. We were just talking about stuff and whatnot and got on the topic of abusive people and how it's hard to describe them and how most people just completely don't get it. Like it's easy to describe some of the physical, but most of it is mentally and emotionally, so it makes it really difficult because you never heal from abuse like that, and you feel a certain way about things and you have no idea why, and we agreed that it makes you feel like you aren't even human, like you're diseased and something is horribly wrong with you.  Of course I can look in the mirror and see myself as I am, but mentally it's a completely different story. And what really got to me was that she said most people try to overlook the fact that you've been abused or you have an abusive person in your life because they don't want the responsibility or weight of knowing it and having to deal with it. And I know it is kind of a responsibility to know something like that, and it isn't something you go around telling everyone (like some people I know). But what really hurt was to realize how true it is. Some of my closest friends know and still they would say "Oh and your dad is doing really good spiritually and with making the meetings," and "I heard your parents got separated but I really can't say I'm sorry about it."  Or "You're so mean to your dad, why didn't you answer when he called? How come you never text him back?"
So even though they can't understand or have sympathy, it's...

...upsetting to think about.


Anyway. I'll just finish my tea and ninjapoof. Have a good weeek~ hopefully there won't be any tornadoes.............*sigh*


~Fogo

Mood: GSBGSBGSBGS
Music: Shiina Ringo - Gamble



hi ;> A>

I just got home from Kita's after surprise!spending the night because there were about 6 tornadoes all in the general area... except for baseline-ish. So we had to stay at her house ;3; two of them went straight through East End and had winds up to 110 MPH. Our house is okay obviously, but we don't have power and the neighborhood right behind ours has torn off rooves and completely uprooted trees. Big ones oAo;  oh and there is a ton of water. I think it was up to 5 1/2 inches every hour or so last night so...yeah
We narrowly escaped it. And a windshield wiper broke RIGHT IN TIME. THANKS WINDSHIELD WIPER. Yeahhh all I could see was gray and hear blaring tornado sirens.

Er...JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE ALL OKAY. Me and my Mad Hatter poster as well. The one that keeps grinning at me every time i look in the mirror.

<--- was super sure she was going to die.

Oh but this is ordinary Arkansas spring weather :/ so hurrrr....

AND I'M STILL SICK! Well, okay not all that much. My throat doesn't hurt any more but my. head. is. full. of. snot. More than usual, of course. I'll be fine for Edgefest~  ugh but I look so bad. For real, bad. And I have to use the bathroom, but there's no lights on ;^;

Umm umm.... I-I'll update Liediut Faerinh when the lights are back on. I actually made some progress-ish on some stuff. hurrr. I also posted two pictures on mah DA but no ones commenting or anything and I feel like such an untalented douche. Maybe I should've put a more descriptive...description....OTL
Like 'this was put in the Drawings>Traditional for a reason' or sth. idekkkk


anyway~

loffs~
~ Boko