You know what I realized today?

I'm not shy about IMing people, I only think it makes me look like a friendless retard who has nothing better to do if I IM them every single time. I have no problem IMing people.
In real life? I'm paranoid of walking up to my friends. Even if I've known them for oh, five years. I get scared that I'm annoying them or that they're sick of me, even if I don't get any vibes. I dunno, it's strange. It scared me that I have this problem so much, I almost turn into one of those people who will walk right past you and not look or say anything to you even if you've known them for five years. ;_____;'

NO, but the thing I realized today also was that all of my friends have younger siblings to walk around with.
I don't.
I have to get up all by myself shy, stupid self and take an initiative. Why am I so bad at this? I think it's my confidence. But that's why I started this diet in the first place ||OTL. It's not a figure change it's a lifestyle change. The clothes I wore today fit a lot looser than they did back a few months ago, and they looked fine if I didn't even touch them, but I still felt like I hadn't lost any weight and kept pulling my shirt down or trying to hide myself under a jacket. I have issues. Blah blah blah.

Why do I think everyone hates me. I mean, I don't think everyone hates me...so I guess I mean I feel like everyone hates me. I don't know, it's hard to describe what I think or feel. This sandwich is gross.

I don't know, starting now, or starting next year, I want to be awesome. I want to be the best me I can possibly be. I want to be spiritual, I want to be artistically confident, I want to be happy with the way I look, and dependable, and a better friend. I want to set myself in the direction that will benefit me and those around me the most.

And all that upbuilding nonsense. Where's the cheetos, I'm hungry.

I got me dot today :c at least it was after the assembly.

I should probably eat, but I'm not all that hungry.

Can you believe I forgot I ordered those hetalia one coins? xD I forget about them, and once I remember I get uber excited over them. TEEHEE

...And...I have money to save up.


~Fogooo