Mood: Sleepy, caffeinated
Intake: Cherry DR Pepper
Hears: Emilie simon, evanescence, etc.
Doing: Bloggu + chatting
Should Be Doing: Essay / sleeping
OTL H-HI EVERYBODY-*kicked*
Sorry it's been a while since I updated. Sometimes I get really really distracted while blogging and then I lose interest and I end up not even posting it. Most of the time I get all emo and start ranting and then I change my mind and it's all gsgbsbgs.
I was at Cato's today and I was in a dressing room and it had very very unkind mirrors. I was all "I am SO GOING ON A DIET ON MONDAY LIKE TOTALLY" it's gonna be celery and tea from here on out, so count to ten. I also really want to break the habit of biting my nails. It's terrible. I hate how short my nails always are. I feel masculine.
A little black boy flipped me off today at the store. I just stared at him and I think he got embarrassed. Kids are so bad lately. People are too lazy to punish them so it makes me look like a child beater when I set off after them.
I've sort of been watching DBZ kind of obsessively lately. And it's not even Dragonball Kai, you know the version where they cut out all the unnecessary face shots. I mean, even watching the gradual storyline slowly progress, I'm still like glued to the screen.
it was scary though with that one random scene "YOU THINK BUU SEXY?"
Cell was the hottest :C they called it his perfect form for a reason, you know.
I was not just talking about that.
Erm, anyway. So the convention this past weekend was really really good and encouraging. I'm going to add that the new generation friend group is rather interesting, though. I was used to hanging around Jennifer and Rachel's friend group 'cause I was a loser and didn't have one of my own, and then when everyone sort of drifted off, I sort of was left wandering around, and only had Kita. But now it's like i'm actually part of a group and I feel really happy. I know that sounds SO loserish. Homg. but I really like it. I don't feel all lonely. I feel like I have someone to cling to now :")
'Cause it really hurts to go and talk to people for me. I'm so anti-social. I dig my heels into the floor and pretend to be too busy to go and walk around, when really I'm just super self-conscious. So yeah it all works out. OR DOES IT?
sorry. had to throw that in there.
This just made me happy. "un compfotablyness"
Speaking of pronunciation (or not...?) the title of my blog Huel`ianduien Amingli, means 'Beautiful Love' in a language I made up. :"D so that makes more sense, ne?
Hwel-yawn-doo-yun uh-mawng-lee.
jya.
I've already told some of you that :/
we have starbucks sweets in the kitchen. mom bought home a box of them. I sort of want one but i'm also sort of thirsty and i kind of want to go get some tea but i'm also kinda sleepy and lazy so I dunno what I wanna do. Today was a long day. It was cold and nice today. The neighbor's dog came and bothered me. I'm reminding myself of that one puppet pals episode with snape where he says "Today i made oatmeal. It was wet(?) and soggy(?)" or something along the lines of that. Snape is so fascinating. If I wasn't crazy i'd start a fanclub.
Anyhoodle.
I've been working on this pic of Allor for quite some time. I keep changing things and adding things, it's really quite annoying. Right now I'm biting my nails over her stupid left hand (our right). It's supposed to be on her hip and she's all ego-ish but like, she's wearing a miniskirt and I feel the dimensions would have to be slightly altered for her to be doing so, and also her fingers are like fkdsja;flksdja;lfkjsadlkfjsdafwedontcooperatelikegooddrawnfingers nya nya
so you know how that goes. I've been in the mood to paint. I'm really awful at painting but it's fun to try everynow in then. I'm way better at oil pastel and stuff. I drew a tea cup. :3
Um I'm sort of rambling but I guess...you know...I should probably go. I'll go when I get sick of typing and/or distracted.
You know, even though I'm afraid of the dark, sometimes I just want to lay in the dark listening to chanting or choir music and drown in my misery .-. I like the idea of pretending to be dead. It gives me a reason to be upset. And wish that i could be numb to everything instead of actually feeling emotion. Just lock myself in a small room away from everything else and sort out all of my problems. My heart feels all jumbled and torn up, like someone raked barbed wire over it.
I have all the time in the world and somehow I feel like my days are melting into each other, like theres not enough time in a day for me to take a breath. It hurts to think about it. It's like touching fire even though you know you'll get burned, and i suppose this illustration is overused and could be considered cliche. You know what will happen, and you've been given a heads-up. You know about the consequences and yet, it's like someone's blind folded you and pushed you out into the streets. I guess I'm not making any sense.
I want to ask myself why I do the things I do. Even if it means falling face-first.
Woah, looking at this post makes me realize how much of a bipolar moment I had o___O
I took a shower in the middle of typing this up so I hope y'all don't mind 8D
ps i love aph and dbz ok thx
~Fogo
More dresses D<